A Few Things I'm Proud Of in a Life Without Regrets

Should I perish in some tragic accident, I shall rest peacefully knowing that I showed my kids how to live fully, and value their family and community.

I will never regret letting my toddlers eat off the good china. If we had company for dinner, it was a special occasion! We all celebrated together, even if the neighbours were just coming over for stew. No piece was ever damaged and the kids always loved having "fancy dinners."

I will never regret showing my children the lessons of charity. To give, to share and to honour your community is a critical citizenship lesson, in my humble opinion. Seeing my kids deliver Christmas Hampers, or even donate their old hockey sticks to the community centre, always makes me swell with pride.

I will never regret the time and money spent travelling with my children. Seeing the world and sharing the experiences brought us closer and gave us some amazing memories.

I will never regret baking cookies at midnight or hosting spontaneous dance parties. Even if it meant blasting the routine of bedtime or leaving a messy kitchen, it was so worth it. Family dance parties and kitchen limbo contests... well, that's some fun stuff.

I will never regret giving the kids a little spending money of their own, and showing them how to earn more. Chores are not evil. Helping to look after yourself, your home and your family is essential information. And hard work should be rewarded. Perhaps someday my kids will be employers and perhaps this lesson will resonate deeply.

I will never regret having animals in our house and in our lives. The doggie "siblings" were some of the first friends the kids had and they taught them so much about empathy, respect, responsibility, kindness, love and even health.  Some people say dogs are too much work. Well, for me, they complete a family. My house doesn't feel right without a dog.

I will never regret any money spent with their safety in mind. Whether it's a high end piece of hockey equipment or snow tires to take them to games safely, it's worth every penny. Insurance, bike helmets, seat belts and more were always in the budget. Keeping my kids safe, is, of course, priceless.

I will never regret any time spent writing. Whether it is in their journals, baby books, blogging here or even "I love you" notes in their lunches it will help them know who their mother is. And one thing they will know for certain, through my actions and words, is how much I love and cherish them.

My Tribute to Oreo

Oreo.  Where can I start?

Oreo was a dog, grateful for her home and people every day of her life. She was an orphan... a stray... a homeless lost puppy, found on January 8th, 1997. It was a bitterly cold day and she was found downtown, huddled under a car. She was dirty and hungry, and according to the vet's expert opinion "dumped downtown, an unwanted Christmas gift." He told me, "She'll be a perfectly good dog and love you forever if you just clean her up and give her a home."

He was right. So VERY right!

Oreo was more than just "good." She was gentle and smart and oh so very loving. Really, "grateful" is the best and only word to describe how she was and lived every day.

Fast forward to how she literally changed our lives.... Oreo was a lively, border collie insatiable for exercise and play. We started off walking her. Then running with her. Then riding a bike. Then biking miles and miles through the woods. Then we brought in a canine playmate, Mocha.  Ultimately, we chose to move out to a country house so that they could have enough space to play and roam. I even rode horseback and those "energizer bunnies" bolted along the trails hours at a time.

When the kids were born she took on the role of hall monitor. She knew who was coming and going and had one eye on each of them at all times. But she was hardly interactive. She left the role of "nanny" to Mocha, the labrador/dalmatian dog. Oreo, though gentle and loving, had no interest in kids climbing all over her and tugging at her ears.

Though mild mannered and sweet like a cookie, Oreo was never going to back down in the face of danger. If her people were threatened she never hesitated to take charge. Like the time we encountered a coyote on the trail and she ran him off. Or the time another dog came racing at the kids, and she let out a bark 4 times her size.  She never ceased to amaze me.

In her latter years she could be found curled up on the floor at your feet, or underneath a table. Never very far from her people... always in the room and keeping a watchful eye. Every night in the yard, she'd meet me in the driveway. That's one of the things I have missed the most. I swear she could hear our vehicles a mile away.

When I call her a Border Collie, it was mostly about her habits and instincts, and of course her looks. But did we ever really know the genetics of our mutt? No. But she was brilliant and agile, loyal and loving and absolutely steadfast in her dedication to her family. To me, she was everything a border collie embodies. And a herder! Such a good herder.

She was a mischievous little clown at times too. She'd steal the whole chicken breast off your plate if you left for 10 seconds to grab something from the fridge!  She'd lock eyes with you, and do it anyways if she ever got caught in the act! From underneath the table, to on your chair and out the door with your chicken before you could holler her name!

And there was no fencing that dog either! Over, under, through.... didn't matter. Whatever it took to get out, she'd do it. There really was no point ever trying to contain her.

She hated swimming, but loved going to the lake.  She loved to play chase with you, but never fetch. Try getting her to fetch and you would be the one running after the ball. It was "beneath her" and you got that glare every time you tried.

I remember that she loved digging her own carrots out of the garden. And though no dog treats ever drove her wild... shortbread cookies at Christmas time were absolutely her all-time favourites. If you tried lifting a shortbread to your mouth, she'd leap into your lap and snatch it out of your hand before it ever touched your lips. She was crazy that way! And I loved it!

Mocha LOVED ice cream. Oreo didn't care either way. Oreo would let Mo lick every drop of it and she'd still be wagging her tail all happy and content to have the empty cup after.

Mocha spent her time sleeping on the kids' beds, while Oreo was always at my feet. She had this little thing about curling up in the warm spot the minute you'd leave the bed in the morning. Turn around for a second and she'd be curled up next to your pillow.

I really miss her, still. She was my first doggie and taught me so many things. She was really ill once at 12 years and managed to bounce back. I certainly considered the 4 years after to be bonus time. I was really grateful for the bonus time. We had some great walks, some great cuddles and some great memories together in those last years.

The day she left to find her resting place I was devastated. I didn't want her to die alone. I knew something was up because she was more tired than usual and had refused to eat her favourite wet dog food that morning. (I used to feed her privately, out of sight of the puppy, so she wouldn't be rushed and could get every morsel herself.) Well, that day I put her dog food back in the fridge and labelled it "Oreo." She went outside to the yard. That night when I got home from work she didn't greet me and just could not be found.

We searched and searched well past midnight, and then again at dawn the next day. I must have called her name a hundred times. Out property is densely treed and the grass was so thick she could have been anywhere, we just couldn't see her. I was so upset. I just wanted to find her.

Then just after lunch she stumbled out into the yard into plain sight. She was limp and disoriented but alive. I scooped her up into my arms and told her everything I needed to say. I petted her lovingly and the kids did the same. There's no way she should have been alone at the end. As fiercely independent as she was, she needed her family that day and her family needed her. I was so grateful she changed her mind and came home. That was my Oreo... she knew I needed her and if it took her last ounce of strength, she was going to be at my side 'til the end.

I don't consider it a sad ending. I consider it the perfect ending to a good life of canine-human companionship. She loved us and we loved her. We gave Oreo...and Mocha too, the best years and the best times and they gave us theirs.

Forever grateful,
Cathie


(Oreo was buried alongside her canine sister, Mocha. May they both rest in peace.)

I may have ruined my kids

I took my kids on a fabulous vacation. Not news. This happens all the time, or so it seems.

I pride myself on organizing incredible travel adventures for my family and each one has generally had something pretty magical and memorable happen. (On a bargain budget.)

Like the time we went to the Atlantis Resort (Nassau, Bahamas) and I used my Canadian charm to get an invitation to a private, backstage aquarium tour of one of the largest and most incredible aquatic collections on earth. (5 feet away from a rare Tiger Shark)  And also,  front row tickets to the Katy Perry concert at the same hotel the next day.

Or the time we got bumped from a (Delta) flight and ended up overnight in Atlanta and landed tickets behind home plate to a sold-out playoff baseball game.

Or the time we happened to meet and chat with legendary hockey star Teemu Selanne and the rest of the Anaheim Ducks.

Yeah, looking back at it this way, it does seem that I've set the bar pretty high. But... believe me, it's all been timing. Or timing, a little Canadian charm and dumb luck.  But it's come back to bite me in the ass now anyway.

This year I planned, what I thought was going to be, a family-fun adventure to Disneyland and then a couple relaxing days in Newport Beach, California.  I thought this sounded pretty great. Turns out my kids thought it was "boring and lame" and were not impressed. Insulted, I retorted that they were ungrateful,  demanding, spoiled and had a inappropriate sense of entitlement. I told them that "any child or adult would LOVE to trade places with them and if they can't be happy at the happiest place on earth, then I'm certainly not going to plan any future vacations for them."

Who's really to blame here?  Me, obviously.

It hurt that I didn't see their eyes light up on Main Street Disneyland. Never once did they gasp, "Look mom, it's Pluto or Mickey Mouse!" Instead all I heard, over and over was, "what's next? Why are we doing this ride again? When can I get a lemonade? Why can't you get me a fastpass?"

The kids aren't even teenagers yet. We can't blame hormones, or peers or even the media. (LOL. Aren't these the usual scapegoats?) So, I've ruined what I had hoped were kind, polite, charming, humble, worldly little people.

There's hope yet. I mean, I turned out ok. (Better than OK if you ask my mom.) The only vacations I saw as a kid were "get in the stationwagon/van/car, we're driving to Grandma's house/campground/Mount Rushmore/Grand Forks for a few days.  Cassette tapes to sing along to and an electric frying pan at the campsite were the highlights of my days. And I DO remember them fondly.

But aren't we ALL doing this nowadays? Air travel, tropical vacations, specialty sport camps and "life experience" travel? I'm pretty sure that we are! I want to see the world.... it can't just be words and pictures on a computer screen.... I want to see and do what other people write about. Bottom line is that the world is a much SMALLER place then when I was a kid, because of the Internet and our ability to connect and share, and research and pursue.  And comparatively much less expensive to travel by air, and much more expensive (than the 90's) to travel by car.  I want to see the world and it is a thrill for me to show my kids. However, my pursuit of travel and magical memories is likely causing an attitude problem in the youngsters.

This isn't over yet. I'm not about to let my kids get away with demanding more and more without giving and learning MORE themselves. So, I'm going to call in the troops.... literally. Time to call on my retired military dad to back me up and set us all straight (me included). I bet he can show my kids a great day without spending $5 and without ever burning an hour in front of a computer or iPod screen. He can easily remind us where our family values begin and end and how we want to and WILL treat others. I haven't fallen far from the stable "oak" tree that is my dad. And I can't imagine (never, ever, ever) giving up on my kids. Time to tackle this problem as a larger family unit and show these boys that  the world is an amazing and incredible classroom and they are merely humble students, blessed to participate.

Just Go For It

Even when you look in the mirror you don't see yourself the way that others see you.

This point was made for me a week ago, when a long time friend and co-worker shared her insight. She said to me, "you know, Cathie, you are the one person I know that lives without regrets. Nothing stops you and you just go for it!"

I at least had the presence of mind to pause and consider her words rather than retort with my usual sarcasm or bad jokes.

This was a very serious and well regarded woman and her remarks were intended as a compliment, no doubt.

So this suggestion that I live without regrets, or am perceived that way has really gotten my attention. Could this be true? Do I really go for it?

Well, I did change careers rather dramatically to buy a restaurant. I did move out of my familiar city to live in a rural area. I did write a book and have it hit the best sellers' list for several weeks. I do take spontaneous trips. I do drive a convertible, even when it rains. Hell, I did go to Vegas for my one day off in May.  Maybe that IS me! Maybe I'm a "hell ya'" kinda girl. I have always been independent and self assured. Maybe I AM a role model for living life and trying new things?

Maybe, just maybe I've got great new adventures still ahead of me if I can muster my "can do "attitude and keep it rolling.

For once it wasn't the onions

I cry at work at least twice a week.

It's true. I have the most sensitive eyes. I really can't cut onions without crying. Sometimes even if one of the other girls is cutting onions, I cry. It's that ridiculous. But not this time.

Tonight's episode was because I served a hamburger to a joyful senior, two nights in a row. To take a step back you should know that we serve hundreds of people each week, perhaps even more than a thousand. Most are hungry and simply busy with their lives. We do a quick delicious take out meal, and they come and go without much fanfare. Very few people strike a chord with me in our brief conversations or time together.

However, yesterday, a smiling man of about 80 had my attention. He was ordering a hamburger at 7pm. He was bright and cheerful.... but joyful is simply the best word to describe him. He told me he hadn't had his dinner yet and was just picking up something for himself as he was on his way to sit with his wife at the care home. I asked if I could make anything for his wife. "Oh no, but thank you'' he replied stating that she'd eaten much earlier and he simply likes to sit with her in the evenings. But he told me I could cut the burger in half "just incase she wants a bite."

I thought his evening plans were lovely and his manner and grace with which he carried himself made me think that he was a perfect gentleman and, obviously, a loving husband. I thought that's where our story would end, but he came back again the next night. (Today)

He ordered the same, but added a side dish. He made a point of telling me that his wife did indeed try a bite and thought it was delicious! So he thought he'd best get another.

This made me pleased as punch and I set about to make another burger as best I could.  Prepared fresh, our burgers take about 12 minutes. He noted enthusiastically that he would just wait in the car, the Blue Jay's game was in the 16th inning and he was eager to hear how it ended. But he'd pop back into the restaurant in 12 minutes.

When the meal was ready I trotted out to the parking lot to find my new friend. He bubbled over thanking me for the "delivery service" and told me the game was in the bottom of the 17th inning. But once again the thing that struck me was his joy.  He expresses joy in the littlest of things, but with grand enthusiasm.

On my way back into the restaurant I thought about what rays of pure sunshine he must bring to his wife at the care home and everyone who resides there. I thought of how his devotion and sunny outlook on life are so rare. And that's when the tears hit. Not an onion in sight.

I Bought Beef Jerky

This is going to take a minute. Bear with me. At some point I'll make you laugh.

I've been driving a GMC Sierra truck for the last week. And this doesn't feel like "me." And today, in a mindless gas station stop to refuel the ugly beast I reached out to the impulse shelf at the gas station and bought beef jerky.

That was my first clue that something was wrong. I'm sure it's been 10 years, if not forever, since I bought salted dehydrated meat, never mind from a gas station. But that was, in the moment, what I had a hankering for. Ewww.

So what on earth has happened to me, and why am I driving a GMC Sierra?

An unfortunate set of circumstances has disabled my much-loved Titan. And until the sexy, powerful truck can be repaired, I was gifted a "loaner" vehicle to drive. So this 2012 Sierra was the best they could offer. Sure, it sounds fine until you realize the seat does not adjust in height, and that it has a column shifter that I seem to bump every time I reach for the radio dial. (Yes, I did say DIAL) So there I am sitting low... oh, did I mention it's a bench seat? (Good lord, I didn't realize that was still an option.)  Every time I reach for a knob or button or something it's in the wrong place. And it corners like a farm tractor.

Even so, after a few days, I have started to get used to it. And that's when I noticed the changes happening to me. I'm driving about 80km/hr in a 90. I'm taking the long way home, just to check on the neighbour's crops and cattle. I'm starting to rest my right arm on the back of the bench seat, and steer with my left hand. Good God, what's happening to me? And that's when I bought the beef jerky. Ugh. I NEED my Titan back before I start drinking 6 packs of OV off the tail gate.

This isn't me. I'm not in my element right now. I'm beginning to think that I should start a charity, or support group for people who are oppressed, depressed or dysfunctional from the exposure to unfortunate vehicle choices. It's like trying to walk in high heels when all you know is cowboy boots. Or trying to watch football when all you understand is the Arts.

People who drive "whatever" or something that is just good enough, are missing out on the joy of driving. To have something that expresses your personality, or even just suits your lifestyle, is to know happiness. As I used to say, there are two kinds of drivers in this world... convertible people and "unhappy roof people."  I now have to broaden my definitions, but you either ARE, or you AREN'T.... and I certainly "aren't" a GMC Sierra-type girl.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease get me my Nissan Titan back soon. I'll never survive on beef jerky and OV.

Fast 5: Mother's Day Edition

Just a couple quick tips for the dads who struggle in this dept. Yes, dads it IS your responsibility to help the kids on this one.

1. Why haven't you made a dinner reservation yet? Oh boy, you're going to be eating at the burger joint now.... here's hoping they have a treat planned there too.

2. Nothing needs to be expensive. C'mon, it's your mom. She loves everything you do. Let the kids loose in the craft store or the bath/body store with $20. They'll come up with something.

3. Card. You need a card. You can't text your mom on this one.

4. Flowers. You can't beat roses in my opinion. Fresh cut, or a rose bush from the garden centre. They're all good.  If it's a rose bush the kids can plant it with mom.

5. Rest. Gosh, there's nothing mom wants more that a little break, a book, a nap, some free time. A little peace and quiet in the house. Then it's back to normal - there's no mom who doesn't love the laughter of her kids and a good hug.

Being a mom isn't easy, but loving your kids sure is. I happen to have the two greatest little charmers. They make me melt. Those blue eyes and mischievous smiles.... just like their mama!

Sweet Gestures

My older son doesn't get a lot of press. I don't write about him very often. That's not to say he's not notable. He's a wonderful boy, of strong character, great intelligence and warmth. He's pretty quiet, unless he's on a roll... then he could be a stand up comedian.

We don't travel often together, so there aren't that many stories from the road. He's very independent, like his mother, so he doesn't ask for much.

He's the kind of kid who'd grin ear to ear if you tossed him a $5 unexpectedly or bought a milkshake for him.

Lately, I've been working a lot. So I haven't seen that much of him. Tonight when I got home he gave me a hug. And asked if he could make me some tea. I was very touched by the gesture. Then he brought me the tea, and noted there was just a touch of sugar in it. Indeed, that's the way I like it. The fact that he knew that, and remembered and did it without prompting made me "glowy." What a great kid! The strong and silent type who sees what you do, what you like and also remembers it.

What a gesture! What a great kid! I'm so blessed. <3

Not another day.

I don't believe in a lot of things.

I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe in luck, magic or anything really but hard work and timing.

But I do believe in ghosts. And I do believe those that you love and lose, never leave.

Case in point... my grandpa was my best friend. He was one of the greatest influences in my life, if not the greatest. Today is his birthday, though he passed away 18 years ago. March 27th always messes me up.  His wife, my grandmother, also died on the 27th.

It's also a day that I have to work. Have to. It's not something I can avoid. It's ok really, it's kind of fitting considering how incredibly hard he worked.  I get the uncommon work ethic from him.  That, and the 26th, a very privately difficult day, makes for a heck of an emotional week for me.

So here's my story:  I've been dreading this day for a while. I nearly burst into tears just looking at the calendar. And here it is again.

I'm sitting quietly and calmly watching TV alone just before midnight on the 27th and a song pops into my head. (Today, just now!) All the lyrics are clear as day. It makes me sing along, out loud, then laugh. Then I burst into happy tears. My grandpa had one song he sang. One song! I can't say that I heard it often, but it was the only one I ever remember and it brought such a smile to his face, and mine. As a kid I'd sing along.

The hilarity of the song is its irony. My grandpa was the most humble, modest, polite, gentle and hard working character. He did not drink alcohol, never smoked and was more honest and kind than anyone I'll ever know. The song is "Oh Lord, It's Hard to Be Humble." Even writing the title makes me crack a smile. And I can't help but laugh and smile when I hear it. And it's pretty impossible to be sad when you're singing along instinctively. It's a comical song!

Funny "fate" moment was when I bought my jukebox for my restaurant.... a huge, scary, leap of faith that was... I got a bunch of 45s with the jukebox. One of them was "his" song.  It made me think in some way it was a sign from him and that I would be "okay."

Coincidentally, I also signed the deal to the restaurant with a Viking Motors pen. A completely random pen that was on the counter at the Diner. That sent shivers to my core, because my other grandfather was the founder of Viking Motors. And believe me, there was no reason for that pen to be in that Diner, far far away from the town in which the dealership existed many years before. No reason at all for anyone to hand me that pen to ink the deal to sign and buy my restaurant.

Do my grandfathers keep a watchful eye on me? Yes. I believe they do.

Does it make me feel better? Yes. Yes it does. Because here on earth, I'm too stubborn, independent, driven, proud, bull headed and ridiculous to let any man take care of me.

I'm not sure my grandfathers would be completely proud of me. I do drink, swear, stay up late, and gamble a bit... but those are pretty rare occasions. 95% of everything I do I believe they'd smile and say "that's my girl."

So cheers Grandpa! I'll be making your favourite pie later today and singing our song. I miss you still. And always. Grandma too.

"Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble... when you're perfect in every way. I can't wait to look in the mirror... I get better looking each day! To know me is to love me. I must be a hell of a man. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble... but I'm doing the best that I can.

..... Some say that I'm egotistical, but I don't even know what that means! I guess it's got something to do with the way that I fill out my skin tight blue jeans! Ohhhhhh Lord it's hard to be humble...." 

xo

The Best Version of Me

The best version of me, is a 7 year old boy. Or at least that's how I see things when I look at my son.

He's a boy who knows when to give me a hug and he also knows when to say, "Mom, let's ditch this place and go have some fun."

"Hey Mom.... the music's not loud enough. I don't think the neighbours can hear it yet!"

Yes, he's a character. But he also has a work ethic. You might think that statement is ridiculous, unless you've seen him play hockey. If you've seen him play hockey and then you've seen the serious side that makes this defenseman a superstar. He gets in a zone before games... he's thinking about the opponents, his strategy, the goaltender and the best angles to score from.  I'm not kidding. Don't even try to have a non-hockey conversation with him pre-game.

Cj also loves seafood.... just like his mama. We were visiting Disneyworld last year and it was our scheduled day to tour Animal Kingdom. We're getting ready to leave the hotel for the park and he says to me... "Mom, what do you say we ditch Animal Kingdom and just go downtown and eat crab legs and have a drink on the deck? You know, we'll go to Fultons. It'll be way better!"

We'd been to Fulton's once before and enjoyed it. But that was 2 years earlier, when he was 4! Anyways, who am I to argue with the "better version of me" so that's exactly what we did... we went and had a leisurely day. I shelled over a pound of crab while he lapped it up and sipped his virgin margarita.

When we were in California, on our little hockey adventure, we had a blissful 2 hour lunch on the patio at Bloomingdales just people watching and savouring the 3 course lunch. Hard to believe any small boy would tolerate a 2 hour lunch... but mine does.

Don't ever offer him a Happy Meal... unless you want to get beat up. Lol!

He's a gem on a plane. He's 'Caesar Milan' with animals and he's a saint with his grandparents. He's brilliant in spelling and a 2x champion in the hockey leagues. He's 'Sergio Garcia" on the golf course... a natural, with spirit.

Did I mention he has model good looks, impeccable manners and looks dashing in a tuxedo?

I'm so proud to be his mama. I like to think he has taken the best of me and improved upon it and made it his own. It still scares me sometimes... to hear my words from his lips... to share his thoughts and predict his next move as if it were my own.  He'll make his own mistakes, as I have made mine. But I just hope he has a good foundation to grown on and continues to make his days fulfilling and happy.

Fast Five: Valentine's Tips

You know it's coming. This happens every year. Don't mess it up. Your sweetie wants you to celebrate this date. Here.... I'll help.

1. Ladies... don't stress with trying to craft something or buy something. There's only one thing he wants. Ok, two things. And the first one is a steak. You know the other. A cute t-shirt that says "mine" will NOT cut it.  But the good news is... really, all the pressure is on him this day. And dress to impress.

2. Get a card. It needs to say more than "You're nice. I like you." Don't wait until the 14th to buy that card. Last minute cards are lame. They say "You're nice. I like you."

3. Guys...this is the one day it's cool to be possessive. Yes, it's ok to buy those cheeky panties for her that say "mine."

4. Chocolates. Seriously, don't even think about not buying chocolates. Lots of chocolate. Chocolate is good. Buy chocolates for your kids, your wife, your mother.

5. Dinner**. YOU NEED TO CALL FOR RESERVATIONS NOW. The 14th does not change. Reservations will not be available at the last minute. Take her out for dinner. Call the babysitter now. You are a week away.  Should you get a crappy reservation time... like 5:15pm take it!! Smile, be happy and thank the hostess. Then tell your sweetie you wanted time to take her to a movie after. Or go bowling. Anything. Just be together.  Dinner on the 12th, is NOT VALENTINE'S DAY.

** If your gal says she's taking care of dinner.... you lucky devil. See #1. Enjoy the steak. (But buy her a bigger gift asap)

Notice I did not mention flowers or jewellery. These are not must-do on Valentine's Day, since, of course, you do this on anniversaries & that type of thing... right?
You're welcome ;)

Nothing else will do

For some things there are no suitable replacements. But we try, don't we?

Like cake. There is no substitute for cake! It sucks when you can't have cake. You miss cake. And sometimes, just out of the blue you start thinking about cake.

So you grab a cookie. That doesn't do it. Maybe a donut. Nope. So now, maybe you hit the mall and look for a sweater, or buy a new leather jacket or two, just to distract yourself. But retail therapy doesn't help. You still can't deny that it's cake you want.

And there are days, like birthdays and anniversaries, you just expect cake to be there. And when there's no cake it's disappointing.

So why is it that we deny ourselves cake? "I'm too fat. Too old. I don't celebrate birthdays. I'm on a diet. I don't deserve cake. Cake is for other people. There's no good cake anymore."

There's no cake at my house. Well, that's not entirely true. I made a Rice Krispie cake last week. But that's not really cake. It was a feeble, lazy person's attempt at cake. Sure, I ate half the thing but it wasn't in any way satisfying.

I don't need a lot of cake. Just a taste of cake every once in a while. There are very few things on this earth better than cake. And this I know to be true... there are no substitutions.

Best of 2012

Glass of wine in hand. Reflection goggles on! So, here goes! In no particular order. With no particular thought to the categories.

Best Vacation:  Atlantis hotel, Bahamas  October 2012.  Because... I feel at home there. I breathe deeply, rest thoroughly and am happy. And it's super fun and awesome and amazing! (Photo at left. That's my favourite pool.)

Best Day at Work:  The day my Uncle Baldur walked in to say hello. (September ?) Because... I was exhausted, it was about 8PM, I was sitting in a corner and finally eating my dinner. I was in a zombie state, reading the newspaper... then I heard a familiar voice at the counter. I jumped up and squealed like a cheerleader at the championships. So happy!!! He's one of my favourite people on this earth and I hadn't seen him in years. What a great surprise!

Best Meal:  (August) Dinner at Bacio. It's an italian restaurant at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. Twice I've eaten there. Two of the best meals of my entire life. It's not very expensive. The food is beyond delicious. The setting is intimate. The staff is fantastic. The celebrity chef, Carla Pellegrino has been in the kitchen (her restaurant) both visits. She's amazing. Seriously, I would go to Vegas just to eat there again! (@chefcarlapelleg) She has recently opened another restaurant @meatballspot which is also in Vegas. I think I better try it out in 2013!

Best Kiss:  (November 18th, 2012) We were looking at puppies. We were there to see a pup named Rookie and this other little black and white scamp flew past me and slurped my hand. She got my attention. Then she sat and captivated with her "pick me" eyes. I lifted her up and she kissed my cheek. My girl.... Bella. I've been getting puppy kisses 6 weeks now. I'm pleased to report that Rookie also found her right people and also has a forever home.

Best News: (March) My mom was strong enough to leave the hospital and head home. Home is always the best place to be.

Best Wine:  This year I found that I really like Apothic Red. Full bodied and holds its own with any meal. I like it with lasagna. It's good with dark chocolate and sea salt Ghiradelli chocolates too. Mmmm.

Best Photo: (November) I like this one. My friend Karen and I were being tourists in her home town. I loved our days together. This photo reminds me of her. I like to think the future holds Blue Skies for both of us.

Best Kid Time: (May) I took my older son on a hockey road trip of nearly 700 miles. We laughed and got to really know each other. It was just the two of us and I'll never forget it. I believe the Under Armour outlet at the shopping centre will remember us too!! We nearly bought the place out! (February) My younger boy and I played hours of shinny together on our ice rink. We took iphone videos of our antics. He says I play like a first year novice (that's not exactly a compliment!) Boy did we laugh hard that day! It was one of his favourite days too.

Best Sleep: (October) Sheraton Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia.  We were on a layover, sponsored by Delta Airlines. They comp'd us 2 rooms adjoining. Each of us had our own queen-sized, sweet sleeper bed. We had had the greatest adventure that day, were well fed and were completely exhausted from the day. All four of us slept like kings!

Best Chance Meeting:  (November) I was shopping at a market in North Vancouver, in a little boutique. I was admiring the purses for sale when the "clerk" let me know that she was indeed the purse designer and just minding the store that day for a friend. We got to talking and she was one of the most lovely people I've ever met. She makes the purses by hand, using reclaimed leather. She is an immigrant to Canada and just loves life. Each creation has so much thought to the design and clever craftmanship it was impossible not to fall in love with her work. (Yes! That's my purse!)  Of course I bought two purses for myself as my un-birthday, birthday gift! Jola and I have kept in touch and I expect she will be a huge designer once the magazines discover her.

Best Prayer Answered: (April) The lump that I was so scared of, was nothing. It was months of ignoring it. Then weeks of waiting for tests and results. I kept it pretty much to myself. Finally, the test results came in and I sunk to the floor and bawled. I texted the ones who worried along side me, and hugged the girls at work. That was a relief, big time.

Best Advice Received:  You need to make your own happiness. Live life without regrets.

Best Advice to Give: Eat ice cream. Forgive yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. Be open to new adventures!

With that, I toast 2012! Thanks for the memories! Here's hoping 2013 has blue skies, good health and much happiness ahead for all of us!

Fast Five: Gift ideas

Gift giving can have its challenges whether it's a birthday, anniversary or Christmas. The gift recipient is obviously a special person to you, so a special, thoughtful gift is obviously what you're after.  I have a couple generic suggestions.

1. Support their hobby or sporting interests. New tools, certificates or even a class. If he's into photography, what about a Blacks.ca  certificate for prints or frames? If the recipient is a baker, what about some new silicone tools or commercial cookie sheets. Restaurant supply stores have some really cool stuff for the home chef too.

2. Does she have a coffee habit? Ground coffee to use at home, a stack of t-discs for the tassimo or gift cards for tim hortons/starbucks/local shop.  If you're making up a gift basket (amazing idea for office gift exchanges) make sure to add some syrup or liqueurs as appropriate. Cookies & chocolates too.

3. Restaurant gift cards. Everyone has to eat. Eating out is a treat some folks don't normally have money in the budget for. This is one time I recommend chain/franchises. Your recipient can use it on the road too.

4. I rarely suggest clothes or perfume or makeup as gifts. Those thing are very hard to get right. The wrong scent can be a throw away gift.  Again.... gift card for that kind of thing.

5. Make it personal. Did you share a concert or a game that was amazing? Save the ticket stub? Scrapbook it or frame it or even just return the ticket stub with a personal note sharing your memories.

I've written letters as gifts when $$ was tight. Home-made coupons are great too. Wouldn't your mom love help with the laundry or help with organizing the christmas ornaments after the holiday?  Nothing more precious than the gifts of time & love.