Bucket List

Having a 'bucket list' has become about as common as wearing eyeglasses. And whether you have one or not, whether you've seen the movie or not, you GET the concept.

It's basically a very personal, very cool list of things you want to see and/or do before you "kick the bucket."  Glamourous slang isn't it?

My bucket list is a work-in-progress. I have a few little things that I want to do in the near future, and aspirations to have a grandiose list at some point. But in the meantime, I've realized I've done a whole lot of really cool things that IF I'd planned or could have dreamt up, then I probably would have had them on the list.

So maybe my list is a reverse list. A "been there, done that" list of very cool things that I've actually experienced.

In no particular order:

• Took my kids to Hawaii
• Met Teemu Selanne and talked "Jets" with him for a few minutes. And he signed his hockey card. 
• Sat front row at the Katy Perry concert in the Bahamas. A concert for 400 people in the ball room. She was on top of the charts and days later announced a world tour. 
• Sat behind home plate at a sold out one-night-only MLB game 
• Accidentally ended up in the NY Yankees' office. Saw their World Series trophies on display. 
• Spontaneously went to an Eastern Finals game in the NHL. Was awed by the goalie (Tim Thomas) who would win the Vezna trophy and a Stanley Cup just weeks later.
• Saw the first NHL game between the Coyotes and the Jets 2.0
• Saw future Hall-Of-Fame Quarterback Brett Favre play live. 
• Came within 4 feet of a very rare Tiger Shark (backstage aquarium tour) 
• Did lots of watersliding through shark tanks
• Had my photo taken with Mickey Mouse
• Saw the Disney castle, and shed a tear. 
• Saw a full size gingerbread house at the Grand Floridian hotel, at "fake" Christmas
• Wrote a book that spent several weeks on a Best-Sellers List
• Ran for public office
• Touched the Pacific and the Atlantic oceans in the same year
• Climbed to the top of a (small) mountain
• Saw U2, Rolling Stones, Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, Prince and Def Leopard in concert(s)
• Stayed at the Bellagio Hotel in Vegas
• Bought a struggling restaurant and turned it into a veritable hot spot
• Catered "lunch" at 2AM to a movie set for a big name actor
• Rode a huge roller coaster & overcame my life-long fear. 
• Owned a convertible and a classic car

It sure sounds awesome when you put it in a list! I really had no idea that I'd lived such an exciting decade. It sure sounds that way. I can hardly believe that's me...my life. When I look in the mirror... I see a dull boring person, with no social life, who obsesses about work and family. I see a woman getting older by the minute and missing out on more than I participate in. But maybe I need a new mirror... that all sounds pretty adventuresome and dynamic to me right now. 

What will the future hold? I'm pretty excited to find out and keep the list growing! 

Travelling Solo With Your Child

To travel is a gift. To travel solo with your child is an incredible gift and I treasure it.

I have done it a few times, and I will do it again. While I have two children, I like to take the occasional vacation with them individually.

My older son and I recently returned from a hockey road trip. If this sounds like an old story repeated, it's not. There is hockey constantly! LOL  It was three fantastic days on the road, sharing music, stories, food and adventure.  This time we also had the privilege of staying with our extended family and getting to know them better. Truly a special memory.

Note, I didn't drone on about hockey and our wins/loses? We are a hockey family, but winning isn't everything. Memories and shared experiences outweigh the win category every time.

Within 48 hours of returning the one son, I took off with the other. The younger boy and I then headed south to California. Head over to my travel blog to read my hotel reviews and see how much I loved California. (I'll make regular entries there, but it will take me a few days to get all my stories out.)

My younger son, toils constantly to keep up with his brother. There is on-going rivalry and posturing. A solo trip is a break from that. The younger one can be himself. He can cuddle if he wants to cuddle, express his thoughts and do things at his own pace without ridicule. Never once on our trip did I have to yell "get your hands off your brother! You two separate! Stop it!!" It was a break for me, since I always feel like I'm refereeing with those two.

There are a few key points to note when traveling solo with your child.

1. Make sure to have a consent letter for travel from your spouse (very important whether you are married or not.) In this letter, specify your dates, flights and destination. Include your hotel address and any tickets or plans you have. Contact phone numbers for your spouse that you can reach promptly if you are held up at airport security with questions.  If you can have a lawyer notarize your letter, it's preferable.

2. A thorough and detailed plan if you get separated accidentally in a restaurant or airport etc. Practice it.

3. Bright clothing easily recognized by each of you. It sounds trivial, but if you are separated in a store even by a few feet, you want to be INSTANTLY recognizable.

4. Thoroughly researched destination, with safety measures considered. For example, I was taking C to an NHL hockey game in a big city. We knew there would be a sold out crowd. I chose to pay a few extra dollars to buy club seats for us - knowing that the club level had restricted access, lots of security, fewer patrons and a far better washroom ratio. Why is this important?  At this age we go into separate gender washrooms. I could not allow him in good conscience to stand in a line of strangers for 20 minutes unattended to use the washroom. Club seats and facilities meant a 2 minute or less line and a far greater level of comfort and limited separation anxiety for both of us.

5. Do something special of the child's choosing. C wanted to go walking in the rain with an umbrella. He also wanted the waitress to bring him a fancy kid's cocktail on the patio. Easy, peasy!  I also try to arrange something indulgent that will be a special memory specific to that child. I can assure you my hockey-loving boy will never forget meeting Teemu Selanne pre-game and then watching the game from the padded club seats.

When I find myself on these one-on-one vacations, there is far more opportunity for me to relax. I feel like a better parent, and a human being again rather than a referee. Of course I enjoy family vacations with everyone together, and it is great to have another adult present to share the responsibility and security duties, but I often find myself needing a rest after those vacations.  This California adventure, though short, did the trick. I feel recharged and like I'm ready to get back in the game.

Best of 2012

Glass of wine in hand. Reflection goggles on! So, here goes! In no particular order. With no particular thought to the categories.

Best Vacation:  Atlantis hotel, Bahamas  October 2012.  Because... I feel at home there. I breathe deeply, rest thoroughly and am happy. And it's super fun and awesome and amazing! (Photo at left. That's my favourite pool.)

Best Day at Work:  The day my Uncle Baldur walked in to say hello. (September ?) Because... I was exhausted, it was about 8PM, I was sitting in a corner and finally eating my dinner. I was in a zombie state, reading the newspaper... then I heard a familiar voice at the counter. I jumped up and squealed like a cheerleader at the championships. So happy!!! He's one of my favourite people on this earth and I hadn't seen him in years. What a great surprise!

Best Meal:  (August) Dinner at Bacio. It's an italian restaurant at the Tropicana Hotel in Las Vegas. Twice I've eaten there. Two of the best meals of my entire life. It's not very expensive. The food is beyond delicious. The setting is intimate. The staff is fantastic. The celebrity chef, Carla Pellegrino has been in the kitchen (her restaurant) both visits. She's amazing. Seriously, I would go to Vegas just to eat there again! (@chefcarlapelleg) She has recently opened another restaurant @meatballspot which is also in Vegas. I think I better try it out in 2013!

Best Kiss:  (November 18th, 2012) We were looking at puppies. We were there to see a pup named Rookie and this other little black and white scamp flew past me and slurped my hand. She got my attention. Then she sat and captivated with her "pick me" eyes. I lifted her up and she kissed my cheek. My girl.... Bella. I've been getting puppy kisses 6 weeks now. I'm pleased to report that Rookie also found her right people and also has a forever home.

Best News: (March) My mom was strong enough to leave the hospital and head home. Home is always the best place to be.

Best Wine:  This year I found that I really like Apothic Red. Full bodied and holds its own with any meal. I like it with lasagna. It's good with dark chocolate and sea salt Ghiradelli chocolates too. Mmmm.

Best Photo: (November) I like this one. My friend Karen and I were being tourists in her home town. I loved our days together. This photo reminds me of her. I like to think the future holds Blue Skies for both of us.

Best Kid Time: (May) I took my older son on a hockey road trip of nearly 700 miles. We laughed and got to really know each other. It was just the two of us and I'll never forget it. I believe the Under Armour outlet at the shopping centre will remember us too!! We nearly bought the place out! (February) My younger boy and I played hours of shinny together on our ice rink. We took iphone videos of our antics. He says I play like a first year novice (that's not exactly a compliment!) Boy did we laugh hard that day! It was one of his favourite days too.

Best Sleep: (October) Sheraton Hotel in Atlanta, Georgia.  We were on a layover, sponsored by Delta Airlines. They comp'd us 2 rooms adjoining. Each of us had our own queen-sized, sweet sleeper bed. We had had the greatest adventure that day, were well fed and were completely exhausted from the day. All four of us slept like kings!

Best Chance Meeting:  (November) I was shopping at a market in North Vancouver, in a little boutique. I was admiring the purses for sale when the "clerk" let me know that she was indeed the purse designer and just minding the store that day for a friend. We got to talking and she was one of the most lovely people I've ever met. She makes the purses by hand, using reclaimed leather. She is an immigrant to Canada and just loves life. Each creation has so much thought to the design and clever craftmanship it was impossible not to fall in love with her work. (Yes! That's my purse!)  Of course I bought two purses for myself as my un-birthday, birthday gift! Jola and I have kept in touch and I expect she will be a huge designer once the magazines discover her.

Best Prayer Answered: (April) The lump that I was so scared of, was nothing. It was months of ignoring it. Then weeks of waiting for tests and results. I kept it pretty much to myself. Finally, the test results came in and I sunk to the floor and bawled. I texted the ones who worried along side me, and hugged the girls at work. That was a relief, big time.

Best Advice Received:  You need to make your own happiness. Live life without regrets.

Best Advice to Give: Eat ice cream. Forgive yourself. Tomorrow is a new day. Be open to new adventures!

With that, I toast 2012! Thanks for the memories! Here's hoping 2013 has blue skies, good health and much happiness ahead for all of us!

Fast 5 Travel Tips: Is it your vacation?

Finding the vacation that suits you is almost as hard as finding the right shoes to go to a high school reunion. You need to have some patience and be really honest with yourself about what you want and what your goals are. If you can't walk in your shoes, even though they are pretty... are they the right choice?

It IS your vacation when:

1) All members of the travel party have something they are looking forward to

2) You choose activities you are genuinely excited about

3) You can't wait to write in your travel journal/blog/tell your friends

4) You are living within your budget and not stressing about money

5) You are NOT doing things out of obligation, guilt or because somewhere you read you HAVE TO visit/see/do a particular monument/activity that you're not actually interested in.

Mama said

Mama said there'd be days like these.

Did "she" know there would be such crazy adventures? Or is every day just what you make of it?

Will my boys remember into the future, things I say today? Or for them, will it be the actions I took, rather than the words I used?

Not just as a parent, but in general, I do my very best to only make promises I can keep. I also try not to get into situations where I would disappoint my kids. For example, I would never take my kids to an ice cream store and not get them ice cream. Right?  Well, why would I hold them back from wet and wild adventures, if I'm the one who took them to the waterpark?  I wouldn't.

But boy, did I have my hands full!

The waterpark or "Aqua Adventure" at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas is a thrill a minute. From the "not so" lazy river, to the Abyss or the Falls, it's all a wild time. But, still, not my idea of a good time! Here's the thing.... I don't actually like to swim. I don't like roller coasters and I don't like to be in a bathing suit in public. And pretty much this is EXACTLY what I'd gotten us into. Yep, I willingly planned a family vacation to the incredible Atlantis Resort. (It's such an incredible place. I love, love, love Atlantis!)   Aqua Adventure is an absolute dream come true - for anyone who likes water, and fun. And while I'm not opposed to water, and I do like a little adventure, this kind of thing repels me. And then I see the boys.

My boys are beaming with joy, vibrating with anticipation and looking at me like I'm a hero for leading them to this glorious place.  Ry screams, "Mom, lets go! Lets's do the serpent ride! It goes through the shark tank! C'mon!"

My gut screams "noooooo" but my mouth shouts, "yeah! Race ya' there!"  And there's one reason I do it. I am absolutely committed to showing my kids a good time. I will not let my fears hold them back from trying new things in their lives. I will not let my fears cripple them into living a sheltered life. I will not hold them back from trying new things and finding what they love to do. And if it means that I have to fight my own inner battles in order to participate fully, then that's exactly what I'll do. I view it as a privilege to be witness, and often co-conspirator in their shenanigans.

After the serpent ride and the falls, Ry and I tackled the "Challenger Slides" together. It's a steep, 5 second race to the water. After our first race, I was gasping and snorting water and just happy I survived. Ry joyfully screams at me, "that was soooo awesome, we HAVE TO do it again!"  Ugh, I think but rather, I reply "Hell ya'." This gets him fired up and we clamber to the stairs to go up again for another race. "You're the best" he tells me as we wait for another turn.  As I stand there, catching my breath and processing his heartfelt compliment, I think to myself "yeah, I am doing a good job. This optimistic, fearless boy is going to be ready to take on the world. If he can get ME out at a waterpark, laughing and racing and in a bathing suit, there's really nothing he can't do."  And that's how I'll measure success.

Challenger Slides

In the meantime, I guess I'll be enjoying the days like these. Nothing beats togetherness and shared laughter with your kids.

I Must Be a Lot of Fun!

Either I'm a lot of fun, or my family just really loves to travel.

Each year we try to take at least one trip together as a family, but somehow that's just not enough for these people! We're not home even a week post-vacation, before someone secretly takes me aside and says something to the effect of, "that was fun, but don't you think it would be better if just you and I went _______." Now, you can fill in that blank with just about any destination. They've asked for the world at one point or another.

Usually first to ask for a private adventure, is my 7 year-old son. CJ loves to travel. His passport is embarrassingly full of stamps. He wants to go to the classic family destinations, like Disney World.

Ry, who is 10, loves cruises. He thinks a Caribbean cruise would be just the perfect thing for the two of us. He likes the all-inclusive feel, and round the clock service and activity of a cruise ship.

My husband likes the classic couples' weekends, like Vegas or Montreal. Both cities have so much to offer. He likes the weekend getaways... quick, exciting and to the point. Plus, it's hard for us to leave the kids for more than a three day weekend.

Individual trips, tailored to individual tastes are great. I have no problem with them at all. Each child gets some personal parenting time and I like to think that I get to know each of them better thanks to "solo" trips.

While Ry didn't get a cruise, he did get a 5 day hockey road trip (and a whole whack of hockey gear) just a few months ago. CJ indeed got Disney last November and the hubby and I just returned from Vegas.

For me, it feeds the beast. That inner voice of mine that says.... "where to next?" Little trips stoke the fire until we can align our schedules and jet off to our next great family adventure.