I have a very special bottle of rum from The Bahamas. It's more like a liqueur really. You drink it neat, or on ice if you have to. But, it's best served chilled, an ounce at a time on rare and special occasions. I save it, rarely share it, and ration a bottle sometimes for more than a year.
You see, you can only buy it in The Bahamas. So I don't get all wild and crazy and start drinking it freely until I know the next flight back is booked. And right now, since there are no flights booked and no plans... the rum is strictly for special occasions only.
Tonight I cracked it open and poured a snifter of it. You see, I went skating tonight. Whoo hoo. No big deal right? Well, I fell on my ass. Truthfully, I fell and smacked my elbow the first time. Then I got back up and kept going. And about a minute later, I tumbled backwards onto my butt. So why the rum? Because I had not fallen in probably 20 years. (Unless someone can correct me otherwise.) And I got back up and skated for another 45 minutes or so. At my age (LOL) that takes guts and deserves a reward.
I could ramble on about the outdoor ice quality in March, but I won't. I will note however, that after a lifetime in figure skates I've only used men's skates for two months now. I still kinda expect the pick to be there to push off with, or to catch me when I lose my balance. But, apparently not.
So, cheers: To being old and still trying.
Monday, February 25, 2013
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Mrs. Not-so High Maintenance
A million years ago, in a lifetime I can barely remember I had a guy walk away from me at the bar after calling me "high maintenance."
Pardon? The next thing he saw was a snowball flying at his head in a parking lot. As a baseball player, my arm was going to have the last word in THAT discussion. And I did. Or so I thought.
Every now and again, I hear that insult in my head. "High maintenance." I don't know why it ever bothered me. Did it mean I put a lot of effort into dressing up and looking good? Or did it mean he thought I was emotionally needy? A princess by modern definition? Well that's not me. Nope. Hell no.
I don't spend any time with fashion magazines or at make-up counters. I rarely enter a mall. More likely you'll find me grabbing athletic wear for myself in the same store that I buy hockey gear in for the kids.
My hair typically sits low in a pony tail, or in the winter, under a toque. The last time I wore a dress was in July, that's 7 months ago.
My work life has unglamorous tasks like mopping the floor and cleaning freezers. So, obviously I'm not a princess. Cinderella maybe? LOL
Anyways I guess you could debate the emotionally needy definition but I do make an effort to never sound that way. I'm pretty much a straight shooter or like to think I am. I'll tell you what I think and how I think it should be done. Why mince words? Why play games? Maybe this comes with age. Maybe wisdom. I prefer clarity over confusion. If I die tomorrow, I don't want you to be confused on whether I liked you or not.
(Insert profanity laced tirade directed at the twit who criticizes my sons' coaches or speaks slanderously towards my little superstars.)
Now, if a person wanted to be literal, I will admit that it takes some "regular" maintenance to keep up appearances. I get my nails done, my hair stylist is on speed dial, and I do exercise regularly. I also try to eat well and present myself as to not embarrass my children. But I consider that normal. I even bite my tongue when not appropriate, or not politically correct, to avoid unnecessary confrontation. I do that out of respect for my family.
But I'll drink a rye with the boys, or eat whatever hot sauce on my chicken wings. I like watching hockey and I've even paid to attend football. I'm just one of the guys. (Albeit, one of the guys who smells better and looks good in a dress!) I play blackjack and I can handicap a horse race. My truck has a bigger engine than yours and a quad cab you could play baseball in. There's no reason, IMHO to ever call me high maintenance.
And if you ever do, just don't stand within my throwing range. I'd really hate to chip a nail trying to teach you a humbling lesson.
Pardon? The next thing he saw was a snowball flying at his head in a parking lot. As a baseball player, my arm was going to have the last word in THAT discussion. And I did. Or so I thought.
Every now and again, I hear that insult in my head. "High maintenance." I don't know why it ever bothered me. Did it mean I put a lot of effort into dressing up and looking good? Or did it mean he thought I was emotionally needy? A princess by modern definition? Well that's not me. Nope. Hell no.
I don't spend any time with fashion magazines or at make-up counters. I rarely enter a mall. More likely you'll find me grabbing athletic wear for myself in the same store that I buy hockey gear in for the kids.
My hair typically sits low in a pony tail, or in the winter, under a toque. The last time I wore a dress was in July, that's 7 months ago.
My work life has unglamorous tasks like mopping the floor and cleaning freezers. So, obviously I'm not a princess. Cinderella maybe? LOL
Anyways I guess you could debate the emotionally needy definition but I do make an effort to never sound that way. I'm pretty much a straight shooter or like to think I am. I'll tell you what I think and how I think it should be done. Why mince words? Why play games? Maybe this comes with age. Maybe wisdom. I prefer clarity over confusion. If I die tomorrow, I don't want you to be confused on whether I liked you or not.
(Insert profanity laced tirade directed at the twit who criticizes my sons' coaches or speaks slanderously towards my little superstars.)
Now, if a person wanted to be literal, I will admit that it takes some "regular" maintenance to keep up appearances. I get my nails done, my hair stylist is on speed dial, and I do exercise regularly. I also try to eat well and present myself as to not embarrass my children. But I consider that normal. I even bite my tongue when not appropriate, or not politically correct, to avoid unnecessary confrontation. I do that out of respect for my family.
But I'll drink a rye with the boys, or eat whatever hot sauce on my chicken wings. I like watching hockey and I've even paid to attend football. I'm just one of the guys. (Albeit, one of the guys who smells better and looks good in a dress!) I play blackjack and I can handicap a horse race. My truck has a bigger engine than yours and a quad cab you could play baseball in. There's no reason, IMHO to ever call me high maintenance.
And if you ever do, just don't stand within my throwing range. I'd really hate to chip a nail trying to teach you a humbling lesson.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Ah Well
So I had a freak out moment today. As many freak out moments this one was "sponsored" by Google. Not really... but kind of.
You know, when you're sick and you have a rash and you Google it....then you believe, even for 15 minutes at 3 AM, that you might have Scarlet Fever or the Ebola Virus. Well, this happened with my well.
Well? Yes, it's a country home. It's what country folk use for water. And when the water didn't come out of the tap and I heard a funny noise from the pump, I Googled it. Restart the pump. Seemed like a logical answer. But the pump was still making noise. So, to me, at 1AM, it seemed like it still kind of worked.
Then, I saw the topic "what to do when your well runs dry." OMG does that actually happen??? Holy crap. Could we be out of water? In the middle of winter? In my house that serves hockey boys and launders clothes around the clock. Nooooo, no, no. We better not be out of water.
Holy crap!! Could we be out of water?
But.... but.... it's a nice house. And the man (who in this split second I am wildly suspicious of) who sold it to us said there was "tons of water. You'll never be out of water." Did I buy my house from a snake oil salesman 10 years ago? Ugh. I need to move now! Must I look up real estate listings on Google now? Yes of course, it's 2AM.
OMG OMG OMG, why don't I live in a condo? Condos have people that take care of these things.
My next thought was... yup, never should have had that gallon of tea an hour ago. I have to pee now. Pee like a woman getting that damn pregnancy ultrasound when you think your bladder is going to explode. Brutal.
Ok. Now what would cruise ship survivors do? Think like a cruise ship passenger.... Ha Ha. We're not there yet.
So, I posted signs on the bathroom doors for the kids. "No Water." And put the bottles of hand sanitizer in more prominent locations. Then I formulated an after school shower and survival plan..... go to Grandpa's house. Yes! Hurrah for Grandpa's house.
How soon can we move? Would Grandpa let us live with him? Will the well "regrow" water? Why did anyone let me move out of the City in the first place.
Then.... the sun rose. Water still did not exist in the form we are accustomed to. So the plumber was called and the plumber came out. He did NOT Google the problem. He did not scare me with amateur diagnosis of permanent doom. Instead he fixed things, told me to have a good day, and went on about his business.
Water was restored. Once again, I feel like I've dodged Ebola Virus.
You know, when you're sick and you have a rash and you Google it....then you believe, even for 15 minutes at 3 AM, that you might have Scarlet Fever or the Ebola Virus. Well, this happened with my well.
Well? Yes, it's a country home. It's what country folk use for water. And when the water didn't come out of the tap and I heard a funny noise from the pump, I Googled it. Restart the pump. Seemed like a logical answer. But the pump was still making noise. So, to me, at 1AM, it seemed like it still kind of worked.
Then, I saw the topic "what to do when your well runs dry." OMG does that actually happen??? Holy crap. Could we be out of water? In the middle of winter? In my house that serves hockey boys and launders clothes around the clock. Nooooo, no, no. We better not be out of water.
Holy crap!! Could we be out of water?
But.... but.... it's a nice house. And the man (who in this split second I am wildly suspicious of) who sold it to us said there was "tons of water. You'll never be out of water." Did I buy my house from a snake oil salesman 10 years ago? Ugh. I need to move now! Must I look up real estate listings on Google now? Yes of course, it's 2AM.
OMG OMG OMG, why don't I live in a condo? Condos have people that take care of these things.
My next thought was... yup, never should have had that gallon of tea an hour ago. I have to pee now. Pee like a woman getting that damn pregnancy ultrasound when you think your bladder is going to explode. Brutal.
Ok. Now what would cruise ship survivors do? Think like a cruise ship passenger.... Ha Ha. We're not there yet.
So, I posted signs on the bathroom doors for the kids. "No Water." And put the bottles of hand sanitizer in more prominent locations. Then I formulated an after school shower and survival plan..... go to Grandpa's house. Yes! Hurrah for Grandpa's house.
How soon can we move? Would Grandpa let us live with him? Will the well "regrow" water? Why did anyone let me move out of the City in the first place.
Then.... the sun rose. Water still did not exist in the form we are accustomed to. So the plumber was called and the plumber came out. He did NOT Google the problem. He did not scare me with amateur diagnosis of permanent doom. Instead he fixed things, told me to have a good day, and went on about his business.
Water was restored. Once again, I feel like I've dodged Ebola Virus.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Fast Five: 5 Bucks for your health
Put down the bag of chips. Step away from the sugared drink. And try these five super foods next time you are shopping at the grocery store.
You can buy these for about $5:
1. A pint of blueberries, blackberries or raspberries. If they're on sale, you might get 2 pints!
2. Pomegranates. Typically, 2 or 3 for $5
3. Jug of cranberry or a cranberry blend juice.
4. Almonds. About 200 grams or so. Unsalted are best.
5. Citrus fruit: lemons (6) oranges (10) or grapefruits (5). Whether you eat them fresh, make a fruit salad, juice them or add slices to water they are great for your health. Vitamin C and so much more!
You can buy these for about $5:
1. A pint of blueberries, blackberries or raspberries. If they're on sale, you might get 2 pints!
2. Pomegranates. Typically, 2 or 3 for $5
3. Jug of cranberry or a cranberry blend juice.
4. Almonds. About 200 grams or so. Unsalted are best.
5. Citrus fruit: lemons (6) oranges (10) or grapefruits (5). Whether you eat them fresh, make a fruit salad, juice them or add slices to water they are great for your health. Vitamin C and so much more!
Your fragile health
It's 6 weeks into the new year. So, where are you on your own health?
The Heart and Stroke foundation has launched a new set of ads referring to your last 10 years. How will you live your last 10 years? With health, or using health care? I think they are the best ads I've seen in years, with regards to taking care of ourselves.
See them here: Heartandstroke.com
They also have helpful articles on signs of a stroke, prevention, health preservation.
February, is of course, Heart and Stroke Month. So this is a perfect time to tune in and to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle and diet in order that your last 10 years are as healthful and active as possible.
Heart and Stroke is of course dear to me, as my mother is a stroke survivor and continues to work at regaining mobility and independence. Emotionally and physically, there are many challenges.
I'm not asking you to donate, or to participate in any public way, my simple wish in this regard is that you to consider my request to invest in your own health. It could be a new pair of sneakers and a plan to walk more, or it could be doubling your fruit budget at the grocery store. Invest in your own health. It's so very important.
It's time that YOU and your health moved up on the priority list. No one is going to do it for you. Do it for yourself, please.
The Heart and Stroke foundation has launched a new set of ads referring to your last 10 years. How will you live your last 10 years? With health, or using health care? I think they are the best ads I've seen in years, with regards to taking care of ourselves.
See them here: Heartandstroke.com
They also have helpful articles on signs of a stroke, prevention, health preservation.
February, is of course, Heart and Stroke Month. So this is a perfect time to tune in and to make the necessary changes to your lifestyle and diet in order that your last 10 years are as healthful and active as possible.
Heart and Stroke is of course dear to me, as my mother is a stroke survivor and continues to work at regaining mobility and independence. Emotionally and physically, there are many challenges.
I'm not asking you to donate, or to participate in any public way, my simple wish in this regard is that you to consider my request to invest in your own health. It could be a new pair of sneakers and a plan to walk more, or it could be doubling your fruit budget at the grocery store. Invest in your own health. It's so very important.
It's time that YOU and your health moved up on the priority list. No one is going to do it for you. Do it for yourself, please.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Ok, Bell, Let's Do This
#BellLetsTalk
It's a Canadian corporate driven day, initiated by Bell Canada, to talk about mental health issues. For each Facebook share, and tweet with the hashtag BellLetsTalk the company is donating 5 cents. Considering there were over 25 million hits by Noon, this is going to be a big day.
Depression is just one of many mental health issues that plagues "Normal" Canadians. I say, normal, because I believe most everyone understands, feels, or can relate to depression. If we don't battle with it ourselves, we certainly know someone who does.
It comes in varying degrees. People guard it... some better than others. Whether you burst into tears or not, depression affects your health. It also affects your family. It can affect your job, your relationships and your ability to feel whole. With depression, it feels like something is missing. Like you can't muster the strength to compete or fulfill your duties.
I get depressed. I've talked about it a little. I elude to it at other times. I've never sought medical help or have taken medication for it. That makes me "normal" too. Many Canadians, most even, DON'T ever bring it up with their doctor. Rather, we turn to each other. Try to talk it out with friends. We keep busy with activities and we deny that its a problem.
I thought I was pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, until one day my young son said, "I know why daddy let you get the puppy." Surprised, and confused, I pressed for the answer. His reply, "because the puppy will make you get out of bed and do things. You can't just lie around being depressed."
That was a little shocking to hear. And I guess, it's true. The puppy does force me to participate. The puppy takes me for long walks. That helps. The puppy looks at me like I rule the earth... that helps too, I guess. The puppy depends on me. That keeps me going. The puppy is an extension of my family. I am here, and will always be here for my family.
My self-diagnosis is less about depression and more about exhaustion. I work many 70 hour weeks. I don't always eat properly. I don't get enough sunshine or family time. Work keeps me from having a social life. All true, but not excuses. I try to help myself with motivational words, photo reminders of my family. Dressing in bright colours, connecting with the outdoors, travelling, pursuing hobbies, listening to music and getting enough rest... these things all help. But it doesn't solve it. Depression just sits there. It waits for the opportunity to spread. Some days are good. Some days are lousy.
Sometimes it makes me very quiet. I disappear from communication. I hide. I do the minimum required to get through the day. But if anyone needs me, I'll be there. I put others first. I probably alway will. Myself I don't believe I need outside help. This isn't a cry for attention either. I'm just saying... if you feel like this too, it's OK. Depression is just one of many emotions that we share. It makes us human.
Depression isn't about weakness. You can be the best athlete, or scientist or doctor. You could also be a receptionist who greets everyone with a smile, or a television personality. You could also be a child. If depression affected your child, your brother, or your neighbour you would help if you could.
Bell Canada has the right idea. Start talking. If you want to help, don't stop when the answer to "how are you" is Fine or Good. Ask again. Ask, how are you really doing? You might just get a different answer.
------------
#BellLetsTalk has a toolkit. There are resources out there. If you, or anyone you care about is just hanging on by a thread, please throw them a lifeline.
It's a Canadian corporate driven day, initiated by Bell Canada, to talk about mental health issues. For each Facebook share, and tweet with the hashtag BellLetsTalk the company is donating 5 cents. Considering there were over 25 million hits by Noon, this is going to be a big day.
Depression is just one of many mental health issues that plagues "Normal" Canadians. I say, normal, because I believe most everyone understands, feels, or can relate to depression. If we don't battle with it ourselves, we certainly know someone who does.
It comes in varying degrees. People guard it... some better than others. Whether you burst into tears or not, depression affects your health. It also affects your family. It can affect your job, your relationships and your ability to feel whole. With depression, it feels like something is missing. Like you can't muster the strength to compete or fulfill your duties.
I get depressed. I've talked about it a little. I elude to it at other times. I've never sought medical help or have taken medication for it. That makes me "normal" too. Many Canadians, most even, DON'T ever bring it up with their doctor. Rather, we turn to each other. Try to talk it out with friends. We keep busy with activities and we deny that its a problem.
I thought I was pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, until one day my young son said, "I know why daddy let you get the puppy." Surprised, and confused, I pressed for the answer. His reply, "because the puppy will make you get out of bed and do things. You can't just lie around being depressed."
That was a little shocking to hear. And I guess, it's true. The puppy does force me to participate. The puppy takes me for long walks. That helps. The puppy looks at me like I rule the earth... that helps too, I guess. The puppy depends on me. That keeps me going. The puppy is an extension of my family. I am here, and will always be here for my family.
My self-diagnosis is less about depression and more about exhaustion. I work many 70 hour weeks. I don't always eat properly. I don't get enough sunshine or family time. Work keeps me from having a social life. All true, but not excuses. I try to help myself with motivational words, photo reminders of my family. Dressing in bright colours, connecting with the outdoors, travelling, pursuing hobbies, listening to music and getting enough rest... these things all help. But it doesn't solve it. Depression just sits there. It waits for the opportunity to spread. Some days are good. Some days are lousy.
Sometimes it makes me very quiet. I disappear from communication. I hide. I do the minimum required to get through the day. But if anyone needs me, I'll be there. I put others first. I probably alway will. Myself I don't believe I need outside help. This isn't a cry for attention either. I'm just saying... if you feel like this too, it's OK. Depression is just one of many emotions that we share. It makes us human.
Depression isn't about weakness. You can be the best athlete, or scientist or doctor. You could also be a receptionist who greets everyone with a smile, or a television personality. You could also be a child. If depression affected your child, your brother, or your neighbour you would help if you could.
Bell Canada has the right idea. Start talking. If you want to help, don't stop when the answer to "how are you" is Fine or Good. Ask again. Ask, how are you really doing? You might just get a different answer.
------------
#BellLetsTalk has a toolkit. There are resources out there. If you, or anyone you care about is just hanging on by a thread, please throw them a lifeline.
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Grammy Night
I wasn't glued to the TV tonight. In fact, I didn't tune into the Grammys at all. We were at hockey the entire weekend. I haven't seen the TV since Thursday. That's no joke and no exaggeration. I do, always have my iphone handy though and I have seen many, many Tweets about the 2013 Grammys.
It's got me to thinking about some of the great concerts I've seen and who I would like to see.
I saw Katy Perry perform in the Bahamas right before her world tour. We saw her at the Atlantis Hotel. Many mega-stars have performed there. It's often a "practice" concert right before the world tour begins. They've hosted Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum and several others.
Anyways, it was in a ballroom with about 500 people. We were in the front row. It was UNREAL to see Katy Perry. Loved it! Her song 'California Gurls" was top of the charts at that time.
I've also seen Prince perform. "They" always said he was one of the greatest on stage and I whole heartedly agree. He sure puts his heart, soul and incredible talent into his live shows. Loved when he did "Purple Rain."
I've seen legends like The Rolling Stones, and U2 play in stadium concerts. Those were both great!
I've seen Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Aerosmith in concert too. They were all good. Ok, very good. I will admit to swooning a bit over Jon Bon Jovi from the upper deck.
I always enjoy live music. Ok, except for this one time we went to the Symphony. It was the new music series. Yeah, I actually left early. LOL
If you ever get the chance to see a live musical act, say yes. Whether it's exactly your genre or not, it's always a great night out. And who knows, you may look back some day and say it was the "best concert ever."
It's got me to thinking about some of the great concerts I've seen and who I would like to see.
I saw Katy Perry perform in the Bahamas right before her world tour. We saw her at the Atlantis Hotel. Many mega-stars have performed there. It's often a "practice" concert right before the world tour begins. They've hosted Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum and several others.
Anyways, it was in a ballroom with about 500 people. We were in the front row. It was UNREAL to see Katy Perry. Loved it! Her song 'California Gurls" was top of the charts at that time.
I've also seen Prince perform. "They" always said he was one of the greatest on stage and I whole heartedly agree. He sure puts his heart, soul and incredible talent into his live shows. Loved when he did "Purple Rain."
I've seen legends like The Rolling Stones, and U2 play in stadium concerts. Those were both great!
I've seen Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Aerosmith in concert too. They were all good. Ok, very good. I will admit to swooning a bit over Jon Bon Jovi from the upper deck.
I always enjoy live music. Ok, except for this one time we went to the Symphony. It was the new music series. Yeah, I actually left early. LOL
If you ever get the chance to see a live musical act, say yes. Whether it's exactly your genre or not, it's always a great night out. And who knows, you may look back some day and say it was the "best concert ever."
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Fast Five: Valentine's Tips
You know it's coming. This happens every year. Don't mess it up. Your sweetie wants you to celebrate this date. Here.... I'll help.
1. Ladies... don't stress with trying to craft something or buy something. There's only one thing he wants. Ok, two things. And the first one is a steak. You know the other. A cute t-shirt that says "mine" will NOT cut it. But the good news is... really, all the pressure is on him this day. And dress to impress.
2. Get a card. It needs to say more than "You're nice. I like you." Don't wait until the 14th to buy that card. Last minute cards are lame. They say "You're nice. I like you."
3. Guys...this is the one day it's cool to be possessive. Yes, it's ok to buy those cheeky panties for her that say "mine."
4. Chocolates. Seriously, don't even think about not buying chocolates. Lots of chocolate. Chocolate is good. Buy chocolates for your kids, your wife, your mother.
5. Dinner**. YOU NEED TO CALL FOR RESERVATIONS NOW. The 14th does not change. Reservations will not be available at the last minute. Take her out for dinner. Call the babysitter now. You are a week away. Should you get a crappy reservation time... like 5:15pm take it!! Smile, be happy and thank the hostess. Then tell your sweetie you wanted time to take her to a movie after. Or go bowling. Anything. Just be together. Dinner on the 12th, is NOT VALENTINE'S DAY.
** If your gal says she's taking care of dinner.... you lucky devil. See #1. Enjoy the steak. (But buy her a bigger gift asap)
Notice I did not mention flowers or jewellery. These are not must-do on Valentine's Day, since, of course, you do this on anniversaries & that type of thing... right?
You're welcome ;)
1. Ladies... don't stress with trying to craft something or buy something. There's only one thing he wants. Ok, two things. And the first one is a steak. You know the other. A cute t-shirt that says "mine" will NOT cut it. But the good news is... really, all the pressure is on him this day. And dress to impress.
2. Get a card. It needs to say more than "You're nice. I like you." Don't wait until the 14th to buy that card. Last minute cards are lame. They say "You're nice. I like you."
3. Guys...this is the one day it's cool to be possessive. Yes, it's ok to buy those cheeky panties for her that say "mine."
4. Chocolates. Seriously, don't even think about not buying chocolates. Lots of chocolate. Chocolate is good. Buy chocolates for your kids, your wife, your mother.
5. Dinner**. YOU NEED TO CALL FOR RESERVATIONS NOW. The 14th does not change. Reservations will not be available at the last minute. Take her out for dinner. Call the babysitter now. You are a week away. Should you get a crappy reservation time... like 5:15pm take it!! Smile, be happy and thank the hostess. Then tell your sweetie you wanted time to take her to a movie after. Or go bowling. Anything. Just be together. Dinner on the 12th, is NOT VALENTINE'S DAY.
** If your gal says she's taking care of dinner.... you lucky devil. See #1. Enjoy the steak. (But buy her a bigger gift asap)
Notice I did not mention flowers or jewellery. These are not must-do on Valentine's Day, since, of course, you do this on anniversaries & that type of thing... right?
You're welcome ;)
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Screwed up self-image
You know you're a screwed up girl when you get the flu and think "well at least I should drop 3 or 4 pounds" with this.
Yep. I'm that screwed up girl. You probably are too. In fact, I'm going to bet that 70% of women over 18 would think the same thing, if not admit it out loud.
Recently a blog post circulated widely about avoiding family photos until you drop a few pounds, get a make over, or look perfect. I think we all read it, applauded and nodded in agreement.
And here's the thing: It DOES NOT MATTER whether you are 120 pounds, 220 pounds or anywhere on the scale, we are ALL doing it to ourselves. We are telling ourselves CONSTANTLY that we are less than perfect. Yet, God forbid this topic come up amongst friends.... they will all tell you that you ARE perfect and wonderful. And for one minute you believe them and feel good Then your crooked perception of yourself snaps back and tells you that all your friends are liars. "They just don't want to hurt my feelings." When in reality you're the only one applying this pressure to be perfect... or are you?
Let's take a look at the voices in your head: Media, Family, Co-Workers, Friends, Strangers
In my head, I hear the voice of my mother's father. "Oh, don't you look healthy!" Well those words always sent the women in my family reeling. God forbid he ever say that to you. It, "of course" meant, you had gained weight and everyone noticed.
Then as a young bride, everyone is always analyzing your figure to see if you were pregnant and who could identify that first. Cruel really... and you see it today in media constantly.
Then at some point, when you are pregnant, you are subject to a constant record and analysis of your weight. Just one more reason to feel like crap when you're pregnant.
Don't get me started on January and the intense push to diet and exercise. I'm sure 70% of the ads out there are preying on our insecurities each January.
I was at the coffee shop and the clerk offered me, or suggested politely "low fat milk, or sugar-free?" Pardon???? Are you saying I'm fat? Do I need the "diet" latte? And, the next thing you know I'm cutting back at the coffee shop and wondering if I have a milk belly.
My friend and I have terrible schedules that hardly ever match up with free time to go to they gym. Every time we try to connect and fail, it feels like a let down. Like we are both failures. And if I go, and she doesn't I feel like I'm cheating on her. And she feels like she's further behind and will have to work double to catch up.
I haven't eaten ice cream since October. Neither a cheeseburger. Why? I don't know. Buying ice cream at the grocery store feels like buying condoms. People are going to judge. It's the same reason I'm not eating dessert at a restaurant, somebody's bound to give me that "do you really need dessert" look. And that's indeed why we give into marketing gimmicks and buy things that are labelled "low calorie" or "Skinny Girl."
Though, writing this, it seems silly. The world shouldn't care whether we have dessert. People have real problems to worry about. Any yet, you know I'm right.
And Facebook, and their perfect photos. Ugh. It pains me to see all these young girls and their self portraits looking for approval. I worry that they are going to be a more screwed up generation that we are.
I once posted a Facebook album I called "strictly outtakes". It was all the lame, ugly pics from vacations, me and the kids. It was real life. It was liberating. But 80% of the time, I'm as guilty as the next gal, I'll only keep photos that are flattering, heck, I've even been known to edit out a zit or one of those pesky age lines. And still, I will not have a personal portrait done, or pay for a professional photo as I already "know" I won't like it and it will be a waste of money. I've thought, a few times, about having a racy photo done for my husband for our anniversary. And yet, one look in the mirror and then a magazine, and there's no way I could compete. So, I won't do it. Why open myself up to more self-criticism?
But I have a crutch....I have a scar. A big, massive, horrible scar. And I have used that as an excuse for years. Only recently have I come to accept it. I wore a bikini in public for the first time in "forever". Nothing horrible happened. Nobody pointed or laughed. I got to enjoy more freedom of choice at the swimsuit store, and felt more hip on the beach. So maybe that was ok. But the only way I could convince myself to do it, was knowing that we were on vacation in a foreign country and I wouldn't know anybody there. (Sound familiar to anyone?)
So, all I'm really trying to say, is the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect is just hooey. I think each of my friends is beautiful and wonderful at exactly the size and shape they are today. I would genuinely tell them that, and mean it. I know, they would say the same to me.
And yet, there is this overwhelming feeling coming from the inside that says, "if you just lost a few pounds... got rid of those pesky grey hairs, found an eye cream that worked, got some more sleep, drank more water, had a little time .... then you'd be better." Better, because I think perfect is a joke. Unattainable. There is no perfect. And if there was, it wouldn't be me anyways. (UGH! Why won't these voices go away??)
Does this screwed up self-image just come down to love anyways? Does perfection make people more worthy of love? More loveable? More desirable? More happy? Is that what we're looking for? To be more worthy of love from family, friends and those WE love? But isn't that a messed up theory because they already DO love us?
Well, isn't that just the million dollar question.
Yep. I'm that screwed up girl. You probably are too. In fact, I'm going to bet that 70% of women over 18 would think the same thing, if not admit it out loud.
Recently a blog post circulated widely about avoiding family photos until you drop a few pounds, get a make over, or look perfect. I think we all read it, applauded and nodded in agreement.
And here's the thing: It DOES NOT MATTER whether you are 120 pounds, 220 pounds or anywhere on the scale, we are ALL doing it to ourselves. We are telling ourselves CONSTANTLY that we are less than perfect. Yet, God forbid this topic come up amongst friends.... they will all tell you that you ARE perfect and wonderful. And for one minute you believe them and feel good Then your crooked perception of yourself snaps back and tells you that all your friends are liars. "They just don't want to hurt my feelings." When in reality you're the only one applying this pressure to be perfect... or are you?
Let's take a look at the voices in your head: Media, Family, Co-Workers, Friends, Strangers
In my head, I hear the voice of my mother's father. "Oh, don't you look healthy!" Well those words always sent the women in my family reeling. God forbid he ever say that to you. It, "of course" meant, you had gained weight and everyone noticed.
Then as a young bride, everyone is always analyzing your figure to see if you were pregnant and who could identify that first. Cruel really... and you see it today in media constantly.
Then at some point, when you are pregnant, you are subject to a constant record and analysis of your weight. Just one more reason to feel like crap when you're pregnant.
Don't get me started on January and the intense push to diet and exercise. I'm sure 70% of the ads out there are preying on our insecurities each January.
I was at the coffee shop and the clerk offered me, or suggested politely "low fat milk, or sugar-free?" Pardon???? Are you saying I'm fat? Do I need the "diet" latte? And, the next thing you know I'm cutting back at the coffee shop and wondering if I have a milk belly.
My friend and I have terrible schedules that hardly ever match up with free time to go to they gym. Every time we try to connect and fail, it feels like a let down. Like we are both failures. And if I go, and she doesn't I feel like I'm cheating on her. And she feels like she's further behind and will have to work double to catch up.
I haven't eaten ice cream since October. Neither a cheeseburger. Why? I don't know. Buying ice cream at the grocery store feels like buying condoms. People are going to judge. It's the same reason I'm not eating dessert at a restaurant, somebody's bound to give me that "do you really need dessert" look. And that's indeed why we give into marketing gimmicks and buy things that are labelled "low calorie" or "Skinny Girl."
Though, writing this, it seems silly. The world shouldn't care whether we have dessert. People have real problems to worry about. Any yet, you know I'm right.
And Facebook, and their perfect photos. Ugh. It pains me to see all these young girls and their self portraits looking for approval. I worry that they are going to be a more screwed up generation that we are.
I once posted a Facebook album I called "strictly outtakes". It was all the lame, ugly pics from vacations, me and the kids. It was real life. It was liberating. But 80% of the time, I'm as guilty as the next gal, I'll only keep photos that are flattering, heck, I've even been known to edit out a zit or one of those pesky age lines. And still, I will not have a personal portrait done, or pay for a professional photo as I already "know" I won't like it and it will be a waste of money. I've thought, a few times, about having a racy photo done for my husband for our anniversary. And yet, one look in the mirror and then a magazine, and there's no way I could compete. So, I won't do it. Why open myself up to more self-criticism?
But I have a crutch....I have a scar. A big, massive, horrible scar. And I have used that as an excuse for years. Only recently have I come to accept it. I wore a bikini in public for the first time in "forever". Nothing horrible happened. Nobody pointed or laughed. I got to enjoy more freedom of choice at the swimsuit store, and felt more hip on the beach. So maybe that was ok. But the only way I could convince myself to do it, was knowing that we were on vacation in a foreign country and I wouldn't know anybody there. (Sound familiar to anyone?)
So, all I'm really trying to say, is the pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect is just hooey. I think each of my friends is beautiful and wonderful at exactly the size and shape they are today. I would genuinely tell them that, and mean it. I know, they would say the same to me.
And yet, there is this overwhelming feeling coming from the inside that says, "if you just lost a few pounds... got rid of those pesky grey hairs, found an eye cream that worked, got some more sleep, drank more water, had a little time .... then you'd be better." Better, because I think perfect is a joke. Unattainable. There is no perfect. And if there was, it wouldn't be me anyways. (UGH! Why won't these voices go away??)
Does this screwed up self-image just come down to love anyways? Does perfection make people more worthy of love? More loveable? More desirable? More happy? Is that what we're looking for? To be more worthy of love from family, friends and those WE love? But isn't that a messed up theory because they already DO love us?
Well, isn't that just the million dollar question.
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