I may have ruined my kids

I took my kids on a fabulous vacation. Not news. This happens all the time, or so it seems.

I pride myself on organizing incredible travel adventures for my family and each one has generally had something pretty magical and memorable happen. (On a bargain budget.)

Like the time we went to the Atlantis Resort (Nassau, Bahamas) and I used my Canadian charm to get an invitation to a private, backstage aquarium tour of one of the largest and most incredible aquatic collections on earth. (5 feet away from a rare Tiger Shark)  And also,  front row tickets to the Katy Perry concert at the same hotel the next day.

Or the time we got bumped from a (Delta) flight and ended up overnight in Atlanta and landed tickets behind home plate to a sold-out playoff baseball game.

Or the time we happened to meet and chat with legendary hockey star Teemu Selanne and the rest of the Anaheim Ducks.

Yeah, looking back at it this way, it does seem that I've set the bar pretty high. But... believe me, it's all been timing. Or timing, a little Canadian charm and dumb luck.  But it's come back to bite me in the ass now anyway.

This year I planned, what I thought was going to be, a family-fun adventure to Disneyland and then a couple relaxing days in Newport Beach, California.  I thought this sounded pretty great. Turns out my kids thought it was "boring and lame" and were not impressed. Insulted, I retorted that they were ungrateful,  demanding, spoiled and had a inappropriate sense of entitlement. I told them that "any child or adult would LOVE to trade places with them and if they can't be happy at the happiest place on earth, then I'm certainly not going to plan any future vacations for them."

Who's really to blame here?  Me, obviously.

It hurt that I didn't see their eyes light up on Main Street Disneyland. Never once did they gasp, "Look mom, it's Pluto or Mickey Mouse!" Instead all I heard, over and over was, "what's next? Why are we doing this ride again? When can I get a lemonade? Why can't you get me a fastpass?"

The kids aren't even teenagers yet. We can't blame hormones, or peers or even the media. (LOL. Aren't these the usual scapegoats?) So, I've ruined what I had hoped were kind, polite, charming, humble, worldly little people.

There's hope yet. I mean, I turned out ok. (Better than OK if you ask my mom.) The only vacations I saw as a kid were "get in the stationwagon/van/car, we're driving to Grandma's house/campground/Mount Rushmore/Grand Forks for a few days.  Cassette tapes to sing along to and an electric frying pan at the campsite were the highlights of my days. And I DO remember them fondly.

But aren't we ALL doing this nowadays? Air travel, tropical vacations, specialty sport camps and "life experience" travel? I'm pretty sure that we are! I want to see the world.... it can't just be words and pictures on a computer screen.... I want to see and do what other people write about. Bottom line is that the world is a much SMALLER place then when I was a kid, because of the Internet and our ability to connect and share, and research and pursue.  And comparatively much less expensive to travel by air, and much more expensive (than the 90's) to travel by car.  I want to see the world and it is a thrill for me to show my kids. However, my pursuit of travel and magical memories is likely causing an attitude problem in the youngsters.

This isn't over yet. I'm not about to let my kids get away with demanding more and more without giving and learning MORE themselves. So, I'm going to call in the troops.... literally. Time to call on my retired military dad to back me up and set us all straight (me included). I bet he can show my kids a great day without spending $5 and without ever burning an hour in front of a computer or iPod screen. He can easily remind us where our family values begin and end and how we want to and WILL treat others. I haven't fallen far from the stable "oak" tree that is my dad. And I can't imagine (never, ever, ever) giving up on my kids. Time to tackle this problem as a larger family unit and show these boys that  the world is an amazing and incredible classroom and they are merely humble students, blessed to participate.

Special Childhood Memories

You never really know what you will remember into the future, or what things will be special for your children. But there will come a time when you will fondly reminisce about an event or object or feeling.

As we were packing to go on an upcoming trip I came across my Minnie Mouse watch.  I bought this watch on a Disney Cruise in 2011. I bought it because it reminded me of when I was 5.  For whatever reason I recall learning to tell time on a red strapped, Minnie Mouse watch. I think I must have worn that watch for years and years because when I close my eyes I can still picture it! I know I loved that watch.

If you've ever been on a cruise, you'll know a watch is a necessity. Our modern way of telling time (looking at our cell phones) doesn't work at all when you are in the middle of the ocean. And since you absolutely must get to the Captain's dinner on time, you need to have a watch. So, when it became a necessary purchase for me, I HAD to go with the replica watch from my childhood.

It's the cutest watch and I treasure it like I did when I was a child. (As odd as that sounds.) And though I rarely wear it, it certainly makes me smile when I do! And this trip, we're actually heading to Disneyland and in my opinion, that makes a Minnie Mouse watch a mandatory accessory whether you are 5 or 75 or any age in between!

Disneyland... the place where dreams are made, and everyone is allowed to showcase their inner Goofy!

Just Go For It

Even when you look in the mirror you don't see yourself the way that others see you.

This point was made for me a week ago, when a long time friend and co-worker shared her insight. She said to me, "you know, Cathie, you are the one person I know that lives without regrets. Nothing stops you and you just go for it!"

I at least had the presence of mind to pause and consider her words rather than retort with my usual sarcasm or bad jokes.

This was a very serious and well regarded woman and her remarks were intended as a compliment, no doubt.

So this suggestion that I live without regrets, or am perceived that way has really gotten my attention. Could this be true? Do I really go for it?

Well, I did change careers rather dramatically to buy a restaurant. I did move out of my familiar city to live in a rural area. I did write a book and have it hit the best sellers' list for several weeks. I do take spontaneous trips. I do drive a convertible, even when it rains. Hell, I did go to Vegas for my one day off in May.  Maybe that IS me! Maybe I'm a "hell ya'" kinda girl. I have always been independent and self assured. Maybe I AM a role model for living life and trying new things?

Maybe, just maybe I've got great new adventures still ahead of me if I can muster my "can do "attitude and keep it rolling.

The Perfect Start

I like Mondays. In fact, I can even say I love most Mondays. I see it as a fresh start to a new week and the more enthusiasm you begin with, the better the odds for success. 

Here are the 5 things I treasure on a perfect Monday morning: 

1. Sunshine and flowers.

2. Someone to return your love. (When I dropped C off at school today, he hollared over his shoulder "I love you Mom" as he walked away." Melts my heart every single time!!) 

3.  Coffee & a little breakfast

4. 15 minutes of peace. No chores, no phone, no rushing.

5.  Optimism. And the inner strength that says, "I can do this. Today (and this whole week) are going to be good.

June 24th... a beautiful Monday. I hope yours is too!

Better than speeding

Last time I got a warning for speeding, the officer said to me, "Don't you have better things to do with $400?"

His words ring in my ears when I'm contemplating a splurge. As in.... "well, I could have blown that money on a speeding ticket, but wouldn't it be better spent on great concert tickets? "

I seem to be able to rationalize my way into better tickets at concerts and sporting events this way. Especially if I'm travelling. A trip is a delight, but you really need to ante up for the good seats if you're paying to be there anyway. Why spend $1000 to go to Arizona and then sit in the $100 seats when the $200 seats have a Club view and entrance and premium snacks?

You can even take a friend for the price of that speeding ticket!

Incidentally, I haven't EVER in this lifetime gotten a speeding ticket. Warnings... that's another story. But I have slowed down and I tend to think things through better now. Learnt my lessons.

Oh yeah, and these latest concert tickets.... Row B Aisle!!  That's an adrenaline rush in itself!

For once it wasn't the onions

I cry at work at least twice a week.

It's true. I have the most sensitive eyes. I really can't cut onions without crying. Sometimes even if one of the other girls is cutting onions, I cry. It's that ridiculous. But not this time.

Tonight's episode was because I served a hamburger to a joyful senior, two nights in a row. To take a step back you should know that we serve hundreds of people each week, perhaps even more than a thousand. Most are hungry and simply busy with their lives. We do a quick delicious take out meal, and they come and go without much fanfare. Very few people strike a chord with me in our brief conversations or time together.

However, yesterday, a smiling man of about 80 had my attention. He was ordering a hamburger at 7pm. He was bright and cheerful.... but joyful is simply the best word to describe him. He told me he hadn't had his dinner yet and was just picking up something for himself as he was on his way to sit with his wife at the care home. I asked if I could make anything for his wife. "Oh no, but thank you'' he replied stating that she'd eaten much earlier and he simply likes to sit with her in the evenings. But he told me I could cut the burger in half "just incase she wants a bite."

I thought his evening plans were lovely and his manner and grace with which he carried himself made me think that he was a perfect gentleman and, obviously, a loving husband. I thought that's where our story would end, but he came back again the next night. (Today)

He ordered the same, but added a side dish. He made a point of telling me that his wife did indeed try a bite and thought it was delicious! So he thought he'd best get another.

This made me pleased as punch and I set about to make another burger as best I could.  Prepared fresh, our burgers take about 12 minutes. He noted enthusiastically that he would just wait in the car, the Blue Jay's game was in the 16th inning and he was eager to hear how it ended. But he'd pop back into the restaurant in 12 minutes.

When the meal was ready I trotted out to the parking lot to find my new friend. He bubbled over thanking me for the "delivery service" and told me the game was in the bottom of the 17th inning. But once again the thing that struck me was his joy.  He expresses joy in the littlest of things, but with grand enthusiasm.

On my way back into the restaurant I thought about what rays of pure sunshine he must bring to his wife at the care home and everyone who resides there. I thought of how his devotion and sunny outlook on life are so rare. And that's when the tears hit. Not an onion in sight.

Last June I was stupid

Last June I bought about $300 worth of bikinis from Victoria Secret without ever trying them on.

I would rather pull a rusty nail out of my foot than try on a bathing suit at a local store. (There aren't any swimsuit stores where I live anyway, but even if there were.) I'm not exactly a model. And I have a huge scar, so I've always avoided mirrors and half nakedness anyway. None of this is new.

The stupid part is that last June, and parts of May and July too, I was skipping meals. Maybe eating 700 or so calories a day, so I could drop  5 or 10 pounds and look my best in those overpriced bikinis.

No, I'm not a kid. I should be a lot smarter than this, but I'm not. Or I wasn't.

Those fabulous bikinis were destined for use in the Turks and Caicos islands. This was a trip I'd dreamt of doing. It's currently rated the 3rd most spectacular beach on earth (and always in the top 10) by travel magazines and web sites. I just wanted to look "Top 10" too. I had wanted to go to the Turks for soooo long, I just wanted everything to be perfect. Somehow, I lost my way. My brain took a leave of absence thinking if I was skinnier things would be happier.

And while I looked about as good as I could, without any sort of surgical enhancements or air brushing or trick lighting, what was the point? No point at all. No one loves me any more. I didn't win the lottery, become President, cure Cancer or anything. All I really did was waste some money on some little chunks of fabric. Some of those bikinis didn't even make the cut... they were left at home and never saw the ocean. Did I enjoy the trip with my family any more than I would have if I was my regular, healthy, life-long weight? No.

Oh, and I did one of those ridiculous spa wraps where they essentially wrap you in saran wrap and steam your water weight out of you so you "lose inches." Embarrassing and dumb. That was evident in the moment.

Am I any smarter now? I'd like to think so. It's a year later. I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin. I'm indulging in tea and ice cream whenever I feel like it rather than depriving myself for vanity sake. I'm even bold enough to write about it and share my stupidity. Learn from my mistake. Enjoy life on your own terms. I think "bikini money" would be better spent on nutritious groceries and family activities. Vanity has a price in our society and that price is too high.