Mrs. Not-so High Maintenance

A million years ago, in a lifetime I can barely remember I had a guy walk away from me at the bar after calling me "high maintenance."

Pardon?  The next thing he saw was a snowball flying at his head in a parking lot. As a baseball player, my arm was going to have the last word in THAT discussion. And I did. Or so I thought.

Every now and again, I hear that insult in my head. "High maintenance." I don't know why it ever bothered me. Did it mean I put a lot of effort into dressing up and looking good? Or did it mean he thought I was emotionally needy? A princess by modern definition? Well that's not me. Nope. Hell no.

I don't spend any time with fashion magazines or at make-up counters. I rarely enter a mall. More likely you'll find me grabbing athletic wear for myself in the same store that I buy hockey gear in for the kids.

My hair typically sits low in a pony tail, or in the winter, under a toque. The last time I wore a dress was in July, that's 7 months ago.

My work life has unglamorous tasks like mopping the floor and cleaning freezers. So, obviously I'm not a princess. Cinderella maybe? LOL

Anyways I guess you could debate the emotionally needy definition but I do make an effort to never sound that way. I'm pretty much a straight shooter or  like to think I am. I'll tell you what I think and how I think it should be done. Why mince words? Why play games? Maybe this comes with age. Maybe wisdom. I prefer clarity over confusion. If I die tomorrow, I don't want you to be confused on whether I liked you or not.

(Insert profanity laced tirade directed at the twit who criticizes my sons' coaches or speaks slanderously  towards my little superstars.)

Now, if a person wanted to be literal, I will admit that it takes some "regular" maintenance to keep up appearances. I get my nails done, my hair stylist is on speed dial, and I do exercise regularly. I also try to eat well and present myself as to not embarrass my children. But I consider that normal. I even bite my tongue when not appropriate, or not politically correct, to avoid unnecessary confrontation. I do that out of respect for my family.

But I'll drink a rye with the boys, or eat whatever hot sauce on my chicken wings. I like watching hockey and I've even paid to attend football. I'm just one of the guys. (Albeit, one of the guys who smells better and looks good in a dress!) I play blackjack and I can handicap a horse race. My truck has a bigger engine than yours and a quad cab you could play baseball in. There's no reason, IMHO to ever call me high maintenance.

And if you ever do, just don't stand within my throwing range. I'd really hate to chip a nail trying to teach you a humbling lesson.